H.M.S Alone:

Its been a while since I've been here

mostly been clearing the decks

washing down the sides

dusting the eves

and polishing the rails

I think I am ready to sail again

to cast of from shore

and drift away finally

once an for all

And so I ask this

have you ever wanted something

so bad so much

that saying goodbye

tears the heart in two

letting go for that instant

is like your dying inside

over and over

again

oh I know she will be back

there 

with me once again

but 

she's not there

in that very instance

when I want to beg

plead on knees

asking for her to not leave

no matter how long or short

the time will be

my tears well inside

close to breaking down

and weeping

the bed seems mighty cold

and so very vast

as if a ocean 

I cannot sail surely

alone in

I need my star to guide me home

to weather my storms

to brace my main

to reach out unto me

pull me close into her world

of utter divinity

so that I can rise strong again

her words still ring in my ears

when my head hits the pillow

and yet reaching out

she is not there

just the cold emptiness

oh God why

if only

there could be but a way

to show her so

that I do need her so very much

and that without her so

I am but another lost vessel

to the vast expanse

ocean that is my mind

each and every nite

when we say goodbye

~X~